Junkie
Hi! I am Lexie and I am a junkie.
A love junkie that is. That wedding I attended in Dumaguete awakened me in more ways than I have yet realized. I am a self-confessed Drama Queen but this is too much! I am even starting to annoy myself. My conversation and thought process for this week is like this: 60% - I talk about love and my so-called struggle to decipher a deeper meaning, while the remaining 40%, I am hoping that somebody will bring the topic up so I can talk about it more. Actually, it more like obsessing rather than just talking about it.
And if you are thinking that I am about to get a hold of myself and stop talking about love, you're dead wrong! Here's more obsessing:
First:
That wedding debunked me of my previous notion about love. I used to believe that love should filled with burning desire and insaitable need to be with each other. Love should be "You're the air that I breathe," or "I'm gonna die if you leave me today" type of thing.
But no. The love that they shared is not like that. It is not all-consuming. It is a love on a greater plane.
One word that describes my idea of love - POP. I am a child of incessant barrage of information from TV, radio, books, magazine and lately, internet. Mine is an idea of longing and coveting. Love should be riveting and all-encompassing. It is Sharon Cuneta and Richard Gomez. Yuck!
Second:
Going back to the wedding.
It is very evident on how they presented their vows. There are no reference of being head-over-heels in love with each other. Theirs is a love of greater cause.
I now understand Chuckie when he said that some things would fade and cease to exist. And by the time that would happen, it should be a love of a different kind. In this case, they share a love for their god and their church. They have the same beliefs and share the same objective. Their personal vision are alligned with each other. Fifty years from now, they are probably still together.
It is very arrogant to say though that love other than that kind is shallow. But I feel that way. So thinking about it, whatever I felt towards anyone that I claimed I loved have to be superficial. Nullified. I mean, I myself can never look at love the same way again.
This is the phase that I am in right now. Emotional roller-coaster. I am obsessed with the idea of love. Love is my drugs. Although I have no one in particular right now, just the thought of me being in love is making nauseous.
Third:
No, I am not converting as many of my friends thought. I have my own beliefs and I am happy with my current spiritual state, thank you very much.
A love junkie that is. That wedding I attended in Dumaguete awakened me in more ways than I have yet realized. I am a self-confessed Drama Queen but this is too much! I am even starting to annoy myself. My conversation and thought process for this week is like this: 60% - I talk about love and my so-called struggle to decipher a deeper meaning, while the remaining 40%, I am hoping that somebody will bring the topic up so I can talk about it more. Actually, it more like obsessing rather than just talking about it.
And if you are thinking that I am about to get a hold of myself and stop talking about love, you're dead wrong! Here's more obsessing:
First:
That wedding debunked me of my previous notion about love. I used to believe that love should filled with burning desire and insaitable need to be with each other. Love should be "You're the air that I breathe," or "I'm gonna die if you leave me today" type of thing.
But no. The love that they shared is not like that. It is not all-consuming. It is a love on a greater plane.
One word that describes my idea of love - POP. I am a child of incessant barrage of information from TV, radio, books, magazine and lately, internet. Mine is an idea of longing and coveting. Love should be riveting and all-encompassing. It is Sharon Cuneta and Richard Gomez. Yuck!
Second:
Going back to the wedding.
It is very evident on how they presented their vows. There are no reference of being head-over-heels in love with each other. Theirs is a love of greater cause.
I now understand Chuckie when he said that some things would fade and cease to exist. And by the time that would happen, it should be a love of a different kind. In this case, they share a love for their god and their church. They have the same beliefs and share the same objective. Their personal vision are alligned with each other. Fifty years from now, they are probably still together.
It is very arrogant to say though that love other than that kind is shallow. But I feel that way. So thinking about it, whatever I felt towards anyone that I claimed I loved have to be superficial. Nullified. I mean, I myself can never look at love the same way again.
This is the phase that I am in right now. Emotional roller-coaster. I am obsessed with the idea of love. Love is my drugs. Although I have no one in particular right now, just the thought of me being in love is making nauseous.
Third:
No, I am not converting as many of my friends thought. I have my own beliefs and I am happy with my current spiritual state, thank you very much.
posted by Lexie at
6:43 AM
1 Comments:
Okay... drown yourself with the idea about "LOVE". Hope this won't touch your sanity at all. Or in some other way.
Loka loka! Mwah!
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