Open Letter of a LOSER

closure - noun; - the condition of being closed; ending something; resolving open issues by talking or negotiating.

I need closure.

Though things may have been back to what it was before, it is never gonna be the same again. I would wannna say that we are back to normal, but I won't. We are far from being normal.

I would want you to know what I am feeling right now. I know that some things that I have might have caught you off-guard and you have judged me based on that. That is why I am writing this letter.

I need a big favor from you.

Remember the last night that we partied before I left for Manila?
Remember that you were so drunk I had to send you home?
I bet you do.
I bet you did not know that I went after you because I was concerned that you can't go home alone?
I bet you did not know that I spent a good hour waiting outside your house for you to answer you phone?
I bet you don't.
I bet you laughed and thought how silly I was when you have read the text messages I sent that night?
I bet you are still thinking of me as this pathetic loser that has been drooling for you?
I bet you do.

What I need for you is stop for a minute and think it over before you judge me. I am so not gonna ask for your attention, I don't need that. What I'm going to ask you is to forget what happened that and treat as if that never occurred.

I am so not gonna lose a friend over something that I'm sure would lead to nowhere.

I would also want to say sorry for putting you in a situation where you don't have any control. I know for a fact that you are a control-freak. Unfortunately, there are somethings that we cannot control, say, my emotions.

I hope that we can be friends like we were before. I have worked hard to earn your trust. In fact, this was the first time I had to work on it, most of the time, people like me as I am. But you're not like other people. You're crazy, you can be sarcastic, obnoxious, mean, arrogant, high-and-mighty, flawless to your eyes.... all these.

I am so feeling like a LOSER today. I would want to walk away from the feelings but I cannot. I have to face this. These are the consequences of taking too much tequila then using cellphones after that.

I need closure.

UPDATE

What's up with that post?
Ew....
You see, I was dazed and confused that time. It's like when a deer crossing a road is struck by car lights, it actually stops dead in it's track. That is how I was that day.
I don't do CONFESSIONS. That's not my thing.
(Excuses)
Anyways, thanks for the kind words of my friends, Mikey, Paul and Erwin. I know you understand.
I am so looking forward to SINULOG revelry 2006! I am so gonna get drunk and forget everything. Just make sure though that if I start blabberring things that are incoherent and that would put me in compromising position again, hide my cellfone. Or better yet, stab me somewhere near the jugular.