Cebu is where my heart is....
home - 1 : the social unit formed by a family living together; a familiar or usual setting; congenial environment; the focus of one's domestic attention ; a place of origin.
Finally, after a year of slaving and slave-driving, I am home. Yes. Manila, Project 4 to be exact.
I should be so happy. At long last, my well-deserved vacation. I should be ecstatic. NOT!
I really feel guilty by the fact that my family and friends have been really looking forward for my return. My Mom even asked me why was I only staying for a week. I said that if I take a longer vacation, I might go back un-employed. But in reality, I was really afraid to stay longer in Manila. This is like a ghost city for me. This place is full of ghosts of my past, past relationships, past friends, part of my past that I have been running away from. One of the things that I have loved in Cebu is that it gave a me a clean slate, chance to start everything again.
The moment I set foot at the Manila Domestic Airport, I had this sudden feeling of stiffling heat. I felt so suffocated. While battling the traffic in EDSA, the taxi driver tried to start a conversation with me. He asked me if I was on vacation in Manila or if I was on a business trip. I told him that I have been working in Cebu for a year and that this is my first time going home. He also asked me about Cebu and how is it. Well, I told him that Cebu is far better than Manila and that the people is much nicer.
Manila is so polluted! You can actually feel it in the air. It is thick with smog and the air feels really sticky. The traffic is awful!!! My God, it took me three hours from the airport to our house. Good thing the driver of the cab that I took was really nice. The first one I hailed actually wanted me to pay 500 pesos! The nerve! The metered one cost me just 250!!! Welcome to Manila!
I am not saying that Manilenyos are bad people. It's just that, in my opinion, we were breed with the dog-eat-dog principle. It's like everything, everyday is a battle. A debacle. You have to always fight for everything. Fight for your seat in the bus or MRT, fight for your favorite table in a restaurant or a bar, fight for your living and your life. Although this proved to be a very good training for the corporate world, which works with almost the same ferocity, I am not used to it anymore.
When I was still in college, it would take me 1 jeepney ride and 1 FX Megataxi to reach my destination. It would take me 2 hours everyday! When I started working, I would need to ride a jeepney and a bus to reach work! It was a constant and almost endless battle to survive. I have survived 3 robberries, 1 hostage scene and thousands of embarassing and scary moment. Everyday is like a high-wire act. Death-defying.
But Cebu is a place that have grown on me. I love the city and the people. The life is less complicated.
On my way home, I saw the same people I have seen when I was growing up. It was such a deppressing scene. The fact that I have moved forward and going places in contrast with their false contentment with their sorry lives makes me mad and sad at the same time sad. I mean, here I am working my ass off to at least improve my way of living, but them.... them???? I dunno! Hates it!
I did missed my family and my friends though, so much! When I arrived home, our house looked different. I stood in the middle of my old room and it felt weird. I cannot feel my self, I cannot see myself. This is not me anymore. Eventhough I kept on insisting that not much has changed with me, the truth is there are. I may not be a whole new person but the Lexie that left Manila is not the same that left Cebu.
This may sound so cliche but the yes, I left my heart (with someone) in Cebu.....
Finally, after a year of slaving and slave-driving, I am home. Yes. Manila, Project 4 to be exact.
I should be so happy. At long last, my well-deserved vacation. I should be ecstatic. NOT!
I really feel guilty by the fact that my family and friends have been really looking forward for my return. My Mom even asked me why was I only staying for a week. I said that if I take a longer vacation, I might go back un-employed. But in reality, I was really afraid to stay longer in Manila. This is like a ghost city for me. This place is full of ghosts of my past, past relationships, past friends, part of my past that I have been running away from. One of the things that I have loved in Cebu is that it gave a me a clean slate, chance to start everything again.
The moment I set foot at the Manila Domestic Airport, I had this sudden feeling of stiffling heat. I felt so suffocated. While battling the traffic in EDSA, the taxi driver tried to start a conversation with me. He asked me if I was on vacation in Manila or if I was on a business trip. I told him that I have been working in Cebu for a year and that this is my first time going home. He also asked me about Cebu and how is it. Well, I told him that Cebu is far better than Manila and that the people is much nicer.
Manila is so polluted! You can actually feel it in the air. It is thick with smog and the air feels really sticky. The traffic is awful!!! My God, it took me three hours from the airport to our house. Good thing the driver of the cab that I took was really nice. The first one I hailed actually wanted me to pay 500 pesos! The nerve! The metered one cost me just 250!!! Welcome to Manila!
I am not saying that Manilenyos are bad people. It's just that, in my opinion, we were breed with the dog-eat-dog principle. It's like everything, everyday is a battle. A debacle. You have to always fight for everything. Fight for your seat in the bus or MRT, fight for your favorite table in a restaurant or a bar, fight for your living and your life. Although this proved to be a very good training for the corporate world, which works with almost the same ferocity, I am not used to it anymore.
When I was still in college, it would take me 1 jeepney ride and 1 FX Megataxi to reach my destination. It would take me 2 hours everyday! When I started working, I would need to ride a jeepney and a bus to reach work! It was a constant and almost endless battle to survive. I have survived 3 robberries, 1 hostage scene and thousands of embarassing and scary moment. Everyday is like a high-wire act. Death-defying.
But Cebu is a place that have grown on me. I love the city and the people. The life is less complicated.
On my way home, I saw the same people I have seen when I was growing up. It was such a deppressing scene. The fact that I have moved forward and going places in contrast with their false contentment with their sorry lives makes me mad and sad at the same time sad. I mean, here I am working my ass off to at least improve my way of living, but them.... them???? I dunno! Hates it!
I did missed my family and my friends though, so much! When I arrived home, our house looked different. I stood in the middle of my old room and it felt weird. I cannot feel my self, I cannot see myself. This is not me anymore. Eventhough I kept on insisting that not much has changed with me, the truth is there are. I may not be a whole new person but the Lexie that left Manila is not the same that left Cebu.
This may sound so cliche but the yes, I left my heart (with someone) in Cebu.....
posted by Lexie at
4:05 AM
3 Comments:
Did you leave your heart with that guy you were so concerned about last time at Kasadja? *tee hee*
i thought so too..cebu is great. ive been there a lot of times and a lot of times had i thought of going there to college rather than going to manila. it's just so.. perfect. :) the people are nice, the streets aren't at all jammed and the malls aren't bad. it would be great to spend vacation there or maybe live there. :D
merry xmas. :D
I am afraid yes....
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