I Wish You Knew

As I listen to you my heart skip a
beat...

I wish I am telling you what am typing
right now...

but then again, only my blog knows...

You are far but yet so near...

SO near that I can touch you, feel
you...

You eyes speaks a million words about
your soul...

How fragile you are...

I wanna keep you, protect you... be
with you...

But love is not my right to say...

It is not mine and I wish it is...

As i sing you songs, I realize that my
heart is unfolding itself...

ever so carefully revealing itself

I wish you could tame me...

I wish... I love you... I could not
say...

I will keep this till the day my
breath departs

I will love you... but love is not
mine to keep...

Let My Heart Sing

*** Again, another repost from one of my favorite blogs.***

I know that you are going through a lot right now and I feel for you. As I have told you before, compared to what you have been through, my life is bland, trivial and shallow. So forgive me if I cannot emphatize to your feelings right now. The most that I can do is be there for you. Be at your side when the times calls for it.

Sometimes we need an outsider's perspective to see the better side of things. To tell you honestly, I was *this* close to giving up on this. Remember when I texted you about finally understanding what your Ex was saying when he said - "You're too much to handle."
I was at that stage earlier today. I admit that it was for selfish reasons. I didn't want you to go, I can't afford that right now. Tell me that I'm a bad person for wanting the things that I want - that would be fine, I will accept that. I mean, when you said that you might go back to the States to be with your ex just to see your son, my heart just sunk. Again, for selfish reasons, I did not even try to understand what you are feeling at the moment when you realized that you might need to make that decision in
the future.

I talked to John - the guy I dated last year. He said things that made me realize that this might just be a bump along the road. He told me how I made him feel important and how I inspired him to be a better person. I never thought I had that in me. He told me that if I value the person, I need to stand by his side specially when times are rough. Today, more than ever, you needed me to be supportive, to be there, to at least listen - but I wasn't able to do that - because I always thought I was beyond this feeling. I always thought that I would never let myself be affected by other facets of your life. I always thought that loving you was enough to pull me through everything that would come. I always thought that this feeling would teach me to accept your past. Well, I thought wrong.

It's not true that love is all we need. Sometimes, love would be challenged, it would wane, like gold it would eventually lose its luster. I have been looking into things through rose-colored glasses. I was high up there. I was intoxicated with all these strangely remote but familiar feelings. But reality suddenly reality hits you right in front of your face. And we all know that reality is not an easy thing to accept. The harshness of the things that I had to bear with was so enormous that I bucked under it. I faltered. I failed you. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry because I became emotionally weak. I'm sorry because I was not strong enough.
I'm sorry because I failed you. I'm sorry because this is the both the best and worst time
to tell you this.

I hope you'll forgive me - for I have learned a lesson. Love is not enough. We need compassion. We need understanding - far greater than any I have experienced before. I need patience. And I just realized that you've taught me those. I realized that I have been more
compassionate to others. More understanding of people's shortcomings. More forgiving
at times even. Patience was something that I don't have - but you also thought me that.

I understand you now.

With that, let me say: Count me in for the long haul. This might sound cheesy, but let me
say it anyway, I'm just here. I'm staying and it would take more than what you are
experiencing rght now for me to give up.

Love Love

*** END ****

www.mountainest.livejournal.com



-lexie-

PS: Ang haba no? Ang drama pa. Huwag mo akong tawanan kasi sasakalin kita! Hmp!

Rated as Overrated

Tagged by Jappy:

1. Reality TV Shows

Wheter be it local or international. For example; Pinoy Big Brother, come on! Who in their right minds would believe that real people act like that? Some say it's a social experiment, some would say it's breakthrough TV, I'd say, it's the same format over and over again: Put a group of people together, maroon them somewhere, make then do task or challenges and dangle a hefty cash prize - people would act like that, in front of the camera for the ratings!

2. Super Models

I know that I have been watching too much "America's Next Top Model" lately, but that only fortified my belief that being a model is overrated. Imagine, not accepting a job that would pay less that $10,000! Ridiculous!

3. Designer Clothes

I love clothes! I love shopping. But please - put a weird sounding name on it and price multiplies one hundred fold.

4. Gangsters / Rockers

Puhleassseee!

5. Philippines Politics

Hello Garci? ZTE? Erap?

6. New Age Whathaveyou / Self-Help Guru's

I can't understand why they call it "New Age" when the concept that their selling has been in existence and practived for the longest time. Ang oh, the self-help thingie, if you want to really improve yourself, you don't need a book/speaker to tell you that. You'll only make them richer.

7. Sex

Yes, sex is overrated.

8. Discrimination

This should have been left in the last century.

9. Street Parliaments / Activism

Gone are the days when being tagged as "tibak" was a heroic thing. Marcos is dead. Let's focus our energies in nation-building instead, like what we should have done years ago.

10. USA

Three words: Iraq, Katrina, Bush.
'nuff said.